Dutch Parenting methods to teach a happy child

  1. Children are guaranteed sleep
    In 2013, the study of the Journal of European Development Psychology pointed out that Dutch children tend to laugh and like to cuddle more than American children.

According to the study, the gentleness of Dutch babies is partly because they get enough sleep and work at low intensity. While American parents often emphasize the importance of experience for young children.

On the other hand, Dutch parents also place the importance of adequate rest. Parents will not compromise on rest time. Only when the child gets enough sleep can parents get better rest.

Research has shown that the Dutch sleep the most in the world, averaging about 8 hours per night.

2. Children have plenty of time with their parents
Since 1996, the Dutch Government has always tried to ensure benefits for part-time employees and full-time employees, to help people balance work and life.

According to the OECD study of 2018, part-time culture is one of the reasons why people here are happier. With an average working time of 29 hours a week, the Netherlands has the shortest working week in the world.

Nearly half of adults in the Netherlands work part-time. 26.8% of men work less than 36 hours / week and 75% of women work part-time. Most Dutch fathers only work full time for four days. They spend at least one day a week to spend time with their children.

3. Children are not under pressure to study
In the Netherlands, children do not suffer from achievement. Education is not only a place to help children develop comprehensively physically and intellectually, but also a place that makes them feel happy.

There are two types of Dutch higher education qualifications: Research-oriented degrees, offered by universities; Career-oriented qualifications, offered by colleges. Students only need to pass the high school exam to enroll in most study programs.

Ruut Veenhoven, professor at Erasmus University (Rotterdam), said: “French and English schools often focus on achievement. But our research has shown that social skills are the tools that bring happiness. They are far more important than IQ.

4. Children are encouraged to express their own opinions

Children are free to express what they want, under the guidance of their parents.
Everyone in the family, including young children, has a voice. For example, when Julius was three, the boy developed full language skills to express what was important. After that, adults will teach you reasonable solutions.

Let your children say everything they think and want, sometimes making them tired. But that way, the Dutch taught them how to set their own boundaries. Along with that, the parents will also give the child advice, explain why should do so. As simple as why the child needs to sleep early? Because getting enough sleep will help them grow up as healthy as others.

5 parenting rules of Japanese parents that every parent should learn

Most Japanese children make people admire because they are very polite, friendly and unreasonable for their emotions to explode. In Japan, we rarely meet a baby crying in the supermarket (except for exceptions, of course).

Researchers believe that we should learn some educational tips from Japanese parents and here are the main principles of their parenting:

  1. The relationship between mother and child is very close

In Japan, the connection between a mother and child is really strong. Both mother and daughter sleep together and mothers are always with the children no matter where they go, what to do. In the past, Japanese mothers often used a sling to hold a baby, do housework or go somewhere.

Mother-child relationship is a deep affection. Japanese mothers accept everything their children do. In their eyes their children are always perfect.
One of the basic parenting concepts of Japanese parents said that before a child was 5 years old, they were allowed to do what they wanted. Foreigners regard this as a slightly outrageous permission, but they are not. This principle shows children that they are developing very well.

Japanese artists from the end of the 17th century to the early 18th century believed that Japanese mother and son love was wrapped in tangerines like goldfish. Such tangling contributes to the word “amae” (Japanese means “indulgence”, defined as “the desire to be based on, to be covered” and to be the verb of the verb “to do flute “). It is impossible to find any synonyms in other languages, but it means the desire to rely on others based on their love, patience and tolerance. This is the foundation of the relationship between mother and child. That means that children can rely on their parents and their love, and when parents get older, they get the support of their adult children.

There is a study carried out by US and Japanese scientists who demonstrate that there is a link between the encouraging education style and the behavior of children. Researchers believe that the positive attitude of parents reduces the risk of developing bad behaviors in children and improving the behavior of children with developmental disorders.

2. Japanese education system: All children are born fair and the same

According to Japan’s well-known education system, children are free to do what they like before being 5 years old, listening to their parents from 5 to 15 years old and from 15 years old is considered equal to their parents as well. the others.

This philosophy aims to encourage members in a collective, where personal interests are considered the most important thing. It is a strong reason for Japanese parents to try to raise their children into a harmonious person – who will be able to find goals and not underestimate their own values.

3. Family is important
Just as the rule is that mothers often raise and care for their children and spend a lot of time with them, Japanese people think that children should not be sent to kindergarten before they turn 3. Parents should not ask their grandparents or hire a babysitter but take the time to look after them.

However, even if parents look, the children still need to spend time with grandparents and other relatives to help make relationships with family members more warm and caring for each other, by the family. is comprised of people who will always support and protect each other.

4. Parents are mirrors
Japanese mothers have followed the rules: do my way. Japanese mothers do not give children the things they require, they just give an example and show how to do it.

5. Pay attention to emotions

To teach a child to live and survive in a collective society, it is important to teach them how to see and respect the emotions and interests of others.

Japanese mothers respect their children, paying attention to their feelings: they do not urge them or make them feel embarrassed or embarrassed. They teach children to understand other people’s feelings, even senseless things. For example, if a child is trying to break their toy car, a Japanese mother will say “Body car, it must be crying!”. A European mother might reprimand: “Stop now! It’s so bad!”.

Japanese people do not think their teaching method is the best. Today, Western cultures also affect Japanese traditions, but the main points in parenting styles such as Japanese people’s calm and loving attitude are unchanged.

Problems with children’s behavioral disorders that parents should not underestimate

Behavioral disorders are a group of behavioral and emotional problems that often start in adolescence . Children and adolescents with these disorders often face difficulties when they have to follow common, socially acceptable principles of conduct.

Parents magazine shows 6 habits from the behaviors and habits of children that parents should not ignore. However, parents need to handle planned and systematic ways.

Habits include:

  1. Say too much without being bored

Your baby may be happy to show you something or tell a story that leaves an impression on them. Do not interrupt or ask your child to stop because it is like losing your child’s happiness. However, in case you are going to play with a relative or friend, tell your child that you should not talk too much in crowded places because it is impolite. Soothe your child by promising you to listen to the story again when you get home.

2. Rude and violent behavior

Respond to children’s faults calmly because screaming and scolding badly affect the development of your child’s personality. For example, a boy who punches you will be severely punished, however small actions such as teasing or challenges should be dealt with lightly, depending on the nature of the action.

3. There is no cooperative attitude when parents make a mistake

If you have to constantly scream for children to do things they don’t want, they will become and stubborn with orders. Gradually, that bad will affect the later personality. So, instead of screaming or trying hard, slowly step to your side, look into their eyes and suggest what you can do. It is more effective to show that the parents who need help from their baby are more effective than you to order them rigidly.

4. Say exaggerated truth

You should observe your child’s attitude carefully. Usually rebellion, oppression is almost always seen in adolescence but actually, these behaviors have come from a baby and have become a habit. So never talk rude or heavy words to children right from their childhood. Don’t encourage your child to talk about something too real. Maybe we think that it is not harmful but the habit of lying will become a chronic “disease” for children later.

Signs of behavioral disorders in children

  • Children react to something in an easy way, that happens regularly and constantly in daily life.
  • Some of the symptoms that you need to pay attention to are when your baby has unusual behaviors such as having trouble sleeping or sleeping too much, reacting negatively and excessively to small things.
  • Children are suddenly sullen, uncomfortable or wry, even young children shrink when they come to class, feel isolated in the crowd or not excited to attend events.

Dangerous consequences of behavioral disorders in children

Mild: If your child has mild symptoms, it means that the child has very little or even no abnormal behavior to be diagnosed. Behavioral disorders of children only cause very small damage to people around. Mild problems are common in children with behavioral disorders including lying, truancy and overnight play without parental permission.

Moderate: Your child will have moderate symptoms when he / she experiences some behavioral problems. Your child’s behavior may have a moderate or serious effect on others. Behaviors that are considered to be moderately disruptive include vandalism and theft.

Severe: If the behavior of the child exceeds the usual criteria for diagnosis. Your child’s behavior will cause serious harm to others, such as raping, using weapons or unlocking, breaking into other people’s homes.

7 mistakes most parents have when raising teenage children

Parenting has never been easier, but it is much more difficult to raise children in their teens when they undergo physiological changes that are not easy to deal with.
Here are 7 teenage parenting mistakes that can be encountered by the most mentally parents.

1. Do not discuss the stage of maturity with children
We have also experienced teenage and puberty periods so don’t let me go through this stage alone. Find an opportunity to start a sharing session about what is going on in adulthood, which will help you prepare well, help you know what to expect and know that your parents are always there. beside and support. Point out your own successes and failures and encourage your child to learn from your own experiences. Try to spend more time with your child and find out what your child is going through.

2. Do not understand your child’s interests and aspirations

Pushing your child up to your expectations can create more stress and pressure for your child’s life and worsen your child’s problems, such as game addiction. Try to find out why the child finds comfort in such activities and whether or not he is conveying the message. When you begin to understand your views, you will learn to communicate better with your child.

3. Don’t know children’ friends

Because children often feel anxious about whether to have a dear friend or leave them alone, beautiful and strong friendships can help them enter the teen stage smoothly. So when my parents try to learn about my friends, I will feel grateful. Find out who your friends are and ask your child to invite you home if possible.

4. Do not respect children’ privacy
Never try to read your child’s private message without permission. Let me close the bedroom door if I want to call you. If you allow you to follow an Instagram account, try not to comment. All these things show me that you believe in me. And if you need to install a monitoring application, please also explain clearly to your child that doing so is just to ensure your child’s safety. Respect your child’s privacy to allow them to become more independent and confident.

5. Inconsistent with discipline

Set laws with consequences and are very consistent with them so that they know what behavior is acceptable. Never give your children punishment when you are angry because it can make them think that punishment is a way of reacting to your routine. Parents need to work well together and achieve a consistent discipline.

6. Do not let your child try and fail
Because I do not want my child to be hurt or disappointed, most parents try their best to prevent situations where they may fail. But parents should know that stumbling and overcoming failure is how one becomes stronger and stronger. Talk to your children about your dreams and encourage them to work on those dreams and remind you that your parents are always there for you.

7. Do not allow your child to participate in the decision-making process

Where will the whole family go when the school year ends? Maybe I have already made plans for the whole family. Therefore, asking your opinion and suggestions will show that you respect your child and respect your opinion. You can also show me how to make good decisions, which will increase your sense of responsibility – an extremely necessary quality later.

Moral values need to teach children from childhood

Every parent loves children well, but that love must be properly expressed in order to give the child a good future both physically and mentally, especially personality. So parents should know the moral values ​​that need to be taught from a young age to shape their children’s development.

Absolutely not lie
This is one of the most important moral values ​​you need to teach your child. Let your child know that although the truth may be “bitter” a little bit, it is always appreciated and the deception seems easy but will always be punished. In addition, you need to explain to your child that lies lie in many forms: harmless lies, harmful lies and the fact that she hides something that doesn’t tell anyone is considered a lie. Let your child understand that when he or she makes a mistake and confesses to his parents, he will not be scolded, but on the contrary, he will hide it, you will take strict measures to gradually develop a habit for him.

Do not steal things
This seems to be the habit of some babies when they are young, they like a toy but are afraid to not be told that they hide and take it home. Let your child understand that stealing other people’s belongings is a violation of both moral and legal values ​​and will be punished by very strict acts even if the stolen object has a very small value such as pencil, toy …

Learn to say sorry, thanks
Sorry, thanks is not only a moral value but also a basic etiquette that children need to be taught. Let your child understand that apologizing is not just a confession when I do something wrong, but it also has a meaning to show repentance, ask for forgiveness. And when someone helps you, please say thank you. Understanding like that will definitely become humble people as adults.

Know how to help others
Children often have the habit of following, if they see their parents or people around them often take action to help others, they will also shape in their heads. At the same time, ask your child to help him / her do what he or she can do, such as sweeping the house, cleaning the tray, cleaning tables and chairs, etc. and praising and encouraging the child when he or she has done a good job so that he can develop this virtue later.

Knowing right and wrong discrimination
In all areas where your baby is exposed in everyday life, let him know that lying, hiding is wrong and admitting his wrongdoing is right; It is wrong to beat you, help you right, … gradually will help shape your baby’s personality later, he will know how to protect the right and fight against wrong behaviors in life.

Do not hurt others
Explain to your child how to hurt others, which can be physical or mental injury, such as a baby not listening to their parents, making their parents sad or their hitting classmates are also acts of hurting others. At the same time, teach children to apologize when they act to hurt others.

These moral values ​​require parents to persistently teach their children slowly but not to be effective in day one, day two, especially the best way to teach children is to encourage, share, confide in Your baby will let them feel and understand the problem, how you scold and impose it on your baby only to make her afraid and to do it in a forced way.

Help teen control emotions and behavior in every situation

Life always has difficulties and failures
Those of us, too, have to go through hard times and pressures in life, many times stumble and torment ourselves. Those things can cause us emotions, sometimes negative thoughts.

But teen should know, it’s like a spice of life. No one can choose what will come to me. So learn how to accept difficulties, stumbles in life, learn how to master your emotions and behaviors in every situation. Please be sad, just be bored but only for a short time, enough for your teen to think and stumble back. After that, get back your spirit to continue your good work ahead.


Look at the problem in a positive way
There is no standard of right and wrong or good for the difficulties that teenagers have to go through. Seeing it in a negative or positive way is entirely dependent on the thoughts and perceptions of teenagers.

No one is mature, successful without ever experiencing a fall. But it is important that they can stand up and do it again after that stumble. So no matter what circumstances it is, no matter how dark and difficult it is, just believe that tomorrow the better will come, there will be a better way to come. Just teen don’t give up, always try to master your emotions and behaviors so you can see the problem as well as the best solution.

Choose for yourself a way to relieve your emotions
Sadness, despair, anger, regret … are negative emotions that everyone has experienced. If you keep your worries, those emotions in your heart will be hard for teen to overcome. So, find yourself how to release those emotions in a “safe” limit that doesn’t hurt you or others.
Teen can confide in his best friend, confide in his parents. Or simply pour your heart into a diary, a personal blog, set up a mailbox to throw your negative emotions into it. Later, when I look back on the difficulties and challenges I have experienced, teenagers will feel more confident, stronger and have more motivation for life.

Mastering emotions and behaviors is a skill that everyone should have, must practice to avoid emotions that govern behavior that adversely affects work and study. Try to think and apply these methods when your mood is not good to see if it works for you.

How to teach children independently?

The daily issues are the agents that lead to arguments between children and parents, but also create opportunities to nurture independence. Your puberty child may think he or she is allowed to do something (dating) just because he or she is old enough, or simply because you all do it, but your child lack of skills to control the situation. If you focus on equipping your child with the necessary knowledge, you will turn conflicts and conflicts into opportunities for them to practice new skills and show their sense of responsibility to themselves.

Puberty will naturally have many opportunities to test new things, will make mistakes and eventually succeed. What you need to do is make sure your child learns from the mistakes instead of criticizing them. At the same time, you must be careful to help your child avoid mistakes that cannot be overcome or harm others. And equally important, make sure your child doesn’t miss future growth opportunities.

When is your child ready to face new challenges?
And the answer to this question is when you realize your child has all the necessary things to not make mistakes (or minimize the risk of mistakes). When your 14-year-old child asks permission to hang out with friends in a big shopping center, you won’t have to ask yourself questions like, “Are you old enough to go?”, Because you have Teach your children how to spend smartly and treat them with courtesy. The day when your child starts to ride electric bicycles to school will be much easier if you have previously taught your child how to safely ride a car and turn on the vehicle and watch the traffic before crossing the road.

Sometimes you should start by looking around under your eyes for a bit. Put yourself in your shoes, ask yourself: “If I were a child, what would I do?”. You can watch the mall as a place to shop, but maybe your child thinks it’s a place to have fun, eat, hang out with friends. Observe the path you take from your child’s point of view, which will help you predict the difficulties you may face. Put yourself in your position to think about how you should monitor and support your child so that everything is smooth.

It is important to slowly guide your child to help them express their sense of responsibility. So, you can not only be able to teach children independently, but also to control them, not to make them feel bound.

How did Jack Ma get away addict his boy to game?

Is one of the most successful billionaires today. Starting from scratch – no capital, no relationship, Jack Ma understands that the only way to rise is learning. However, his view of education is different from the majority of people and with the traditional Chinese concept: “I teach my son that he does not need to be ranked 3rd in class, average learning capacity is okay, as long as the score is not too bad. Only average learners have enough time to learn other skills, ”said Jack Ma.

Like many other parents, Jack Ma and his wife Zhang Ying also have problems balancing work and parenting. In an interview on CelebrityChina, Ms. Zhang Ying shared about her husband and how to raise children. “Our son should be considered as a” victim “of Alibaba. Born in 1992, he grew up in the family business. That day, my house was the office of more than 30 people, always flooded with smoke. My son can only stay in the room and not go out. He eats according to us, so he becomes more and more skinny like a matchstick, only his head is big. After that, the work was more busy, the son was 4 years old, we went to the nursery house five days a week and only welcomed the weekend.

When the business was stable, my son was 10 years old, he became interested in the Internet, probably because of his father’s influence. He was addicted to the game online when he started playing, staying at the net with friends and refused to go home. Realizing that, Jack convinced and educated him but failed completely. Jerry was only 12 years old when he replied back to his father: “My parents are not at home, I have to go home to be bored by myself.

The son’s reaction made Jack extremely worried, he told me: “You should quit your job, our family needs you more than Alibaba […]”. Although she did not want to, but because of her family, she decided to quit her job at home to control her son.

After Ms. Zhang Ying quit her job at Alibaba, Jack Ma and his wife embarked on a formal and strict teaching. One day, Jack Ma gave his son 200 yuan so he could play games with his friends three days and three nights. He demanded that he answer the question of “the benefits of gaming”.

Three days later, Jerry went home in a state of exhaustion and answered his father: “Tired, sleepy, hungry, all over the body uncomfortable, running out of money and I couldn’t find any benefit.” Jack Ma responded to him with a series of questions that made the boy quiet: “So do you want to play anymore?” Have you played enough? Want to go home? ”.

The strictness of Jack Ma’s spear and Zhang Ying’s caring interest helped the young Jerry to gradually become tempted by online games. After six months, the boy rose to the 17th place of the class and became more and more prominent. He laughed more, looked outward and tolerant, really the “sunshine” of his parents.

In addition, during the period when Jack Ma’s son was addicted to online games, the industry grew dramatically. If it is in the style of Jack Ma, he will not miss the opportunity to make money. But he declared: “I will not spend a penny to invest in online games, I do not want to see my son addicted to games created by myself”. Above all, the family has always been a billionaire’s top priority.

On his son’s 18th birthday, Jack Ma wrote a letter to the boy and sent three things:

One is always thinking for yourself and independent judgment.

The second is to keep the spirit of optimism – there are many problems happening in the world but there will definitely be more solutions than that.

Third, be honest, especially with your father.

Jack Ma’s child education story is a thoughtful experience for current parents and mothers – an era in which technology can “eat” people. At the same time, his inspirational message about learning is also a useful lesson for young people on the road to starting a business: “Try to keep up with learning but don’t consider it all. Train new skills and pursue passion when you have free time ”.

School Obsession In Teenagers

Pressure for examinations and scores

We are often told that “scores are not important, knowledge is important” that is true in life, while teen school always suffers from score pressure. Every time the exam season arrives, the score has become a terrible obsession for teenagers. Each teen gets a math-theorem outline with hundreds of lessons from easy to difficult. Three subjects of history and history are even more horrified with a thicker outline than the textbooks that teen learns during the whole period. Not to mention the Students, Citizens Education, Foreign Languages ​​… with knowledge content stretching from the beginning of the year until the exam. Facing “the sea” teen knowledge chooses to take extra classes. One day, 24 hours, there are teenagers studying up to 4 shifts, leaving the house at 6am and arriving at home at 10pm.


The heartless joke

Living in a collective if teen makes mistakes, bad things … will surely be isolated and unable to integrate. However, if the teen has tried to change but is not accepted, going to class will become a nightmare. Jake, a friend of mine shared: “Before I switched classes, I didn’t think that being fat was a problem, it seemed like I became the focus for people to joke around. They often call me fat, … even pigs, … regardless of what name they think is suitable for their appearance. I like a boyfriend in the class, of course I dare not express, just stealthily give him gifts, somehow he knows, throwing the gift package for fear of losing his face. Class became an obsession, I lost weight so badly that I had to be hospitalized and went to the hospital and immediately transferred classes.

“Upper legs, lowering your forearms”

The words tease make teen hurt about psychological but not terrible by the brutal blow that teen received from his friends. There are teenagers who go to school but have to hide and hide because they are afraid of being beaten, they go early in the morning, so it is late but almost every day, there are at least some bruises. Tr shared: “I was beaten up by my classmate and got a few blows from her sister just because her boyfriend glanced at me”.

For very small reasons, teenagers are willing to “lower their legs, lower their forearms” with their friends. Last time, many of the school violence clips posted online made many people angry. School intervention, parent protection, society condemned vehemently but it seems that school violence is still a painful problem and becomes a teen obsession.

Going to school is everyone’s right but with a lot of pressure. So, instead of heartless jokes, a brutal beat, … let’s treat your friends well. If you feel too stressed, please share with your parents, teachers, etc. We have the right to speak our own thoughts.

Love Psychology: The Signs Parents Need To Know

Parents should have an understanding of the psychological characteristics of adolescents as they enter the age of adolescent love and provide them with the insights and skills needed to maintain and Assess the friendship – love relationship of this age.

Most of students at the end of their high school years have a friendship with someone of the opposite sex. And this relationship contributes to the comprehensive development. The benefits of friendship are:

Strengthening self-confidence: Being friends of the same age, loving, helping and making friends is very important for adolescents, especially the friends of the opposite sex, which is also appreciated by others. self-confidence, from which they also believe in their success in social life.

Improve Social Communication Skills: Dating, meeting with friends of opposite sex creates opportunities for children to learn how to behave and socialize.

Confirmation of gender identity and role: Also important, men and women often want to have the opportunity to experience their gender identity and roles. The expressions of masculinity and femininity are expressed how to fit the expectations of society.

Developing skills for harmony: Harmony is essential in all relationships, from friendship, love, conjugal love to parenthood – children. Lack of harmony leads to negative psychology (feeling helpless, lost in the crowd, reduced confidence). Confidence, interest in you and sharing with you are important skills that need to be educated, practiced for harmony.

Understanding Psychological Characteristics and Personal Needs: Some people prefer to live in privacy rather than in a noisy life. Some people like to be praised and motivated.

In heterosexual relationships, there are many qualities that need to be revealed early, such as sincerity, restraint and respect for restraint of the opposite sex, the idea of ​​an ideal life. .

However, adolescence with the first heterosexual relationships may also be affected by negative effects: for example, failure in early relationships can lead to decreased self-esteem. Adversely influenced by friends, transforming gender roles has emerged from the process of family education. However, school-age love is considered to have positive effects.

To make love, the love of healthy adolescents develops well, the relationship between parents and children needs to be open, giving the opportunity to talk frankly about some related issues. Proper behaviors, things to avoid; distinguish personal qualities good and not good, the expression is not sincere …

Life creates so many different and richer relationships over time: with brothers and sisters, parents in the family, with friends, with teachers at school, with lovers, with colleagues in Work and sometimes there are no relationships can be classified in any kind. In many situations, we can receive something that makes us more confident, happier and more mature, which are the circumstances that create a positive relationship.

In many other situations, we find ourselves in a difficult situation. Sometimes it is not easy to see that a lover or friend or family member treats them unrespectfully and unfairly. Every relationship can have some dissatisfaction, tolerance and even frustration, especially in youth, anger, misunderstanding each other is also a “characteristic” of this age.

Only that does not necessarily mean that the relationship is unhealthy. However, in the relationship between men and women in adolescence, there are also many mistakes, misunderstandings, idolizing you or your lover, from which imitate, blindly race.

It is necessary for young men and women to know what is right and wrong in relation to one another. There are expressions that need to be seen as the “spring swallows”, soon to reveal a well-developed personality, promising a lasting friendship and love.

A relationship is considered healthy when there are the following key manifestations: to behave respectfully; feeling secure, comfortable and happy together; to resolve conflicts smoothly; Helping and caring about each other’s lives (health, work …); trust each other; open, straightforward, generous; each person respects one another’s privacy; not addicted to drugs or alcohol. Together we set the limits of emotion, practice restraint.