The best tips on learning effective parenting skills (part 3)

5: Talk With Your Children And Help Their Brains Integrate

Most of us have already known the importance of communication. So talk to your children and also listen to them carefully. Keeping an open line of communication helps you have a better relationship with your children and they will come to you when there is any problem. But there’s another reason for communication: by communicating, you help your children integrate different parts of their brain.

Integration is similar to our body in which various organs need to coordinate and work together in order to maintain a healthy body. Different parts of the brain can function harmoniously as a whole when they are integrated, meaning more cooperative behavior, more empathy, fewer tantrums, and better mental well-being.

In order to do that, talk through troubling experiences. Ask your kid to describe what has happened and how they felt to develop attuned communication​.

You don’t need to provide solutions and you don’t need to have all the answers to be a good parent. Just listening to them and asking clarifying questions will help them make sense of their own experiences and memories.

6. Reflect On Your Own Childhood

Many people want to parent differently from our parents. Even those who had a happy childhood and good upbringing may want to change some ways how they were brought up. But for many times, we speak just like our parents did when we open our mouths.

Reflecting on our own childhood is a step to understand why we parent the way we do. Make note of things you want to change and think of how you will do it differently in a real scenario. Try to be mindful and change your behavior the next time when those issues come up.

If you don’t succeed at first, don’t give up. It takes lots of practice to consciously change one’s child upbringing methods.

Four Tips for Teaching Sports to Kids

Although different sports require different skills, there are certain tips that parents should use when introducing the world of sports play to kids. These are four of the most useful tips.

Plan your sessions in advance. It is helpful to introduce kids to the sport slowly rather than immediately jumping into a game. For instance, if you are teaching kids to play baseball, you may want to start with learning the fundamentals of hitting, catching, and pitching before delving into all of the regulations and rules of the game. You should slowly introduce the skills and have short sessions for kids to practice fundamentals. Plan these sessions in advance so you know what information you want to impart and what activities you will be covering.

Get the necessary equipment. If you don’t want to spend too much money on equipment until you are certain that your kids will enjoy the sport, you should ensure that you have the basic equipment that is needed to play the sport. You can buy inexpensively used sporting equipment online, in local classifieds, or resale stores.

Teach safety first. One of the first lessons that you should teach your kids is how to take part in a sport safely. Explain the basic rules of the sport and the fundamentals of safety when participating in sports as well as explain the importance of any safety equipment or pads that might need to be warn during play.

Start teaching the basics. At each session, you can spend a little time on the basics of the game. If you want your kids to have a good time and do not get bored by mundane practice drills, you may want to have some different activities at each session, focusing on a different aspect of the game play. Don’t forget to explain how to do the essential tasks of the game and illustrate the necessary skills by showing your kids what they need to do. Then, give them enough time to practice each skill, gently providing suggestions on how to improve their technique.

The best tips on learning effective parenting skills (part 2)

3: Practice Kind and Firm Positive Parenting

We are born with about 100 billion brain cells (or neurons) with relative connections, which together drive our actions, create our thoughts, shape our personalities, and determine basically who we are. They are created, strengthened, and sculpted through experiences throughout our lives.

If you give your children positive experiences, they will be able to experience positive experiences themselves as well as offer them to the other​s.

If you give your children negative experiences, they won’t have the development necessary for them to thrive.

Always keep that in your mind. Play indoor games. Go to the park. Have a fun bike riding. Laugh with your kids. Ride through their emotional tantrum. Together solve a problem with a positive attitude.

Doing these positive experiences will create good connections in your children’s brain as well as form the memories of you that your children carry for life.

In terms of discipline, although it seems hard to remain positive, parents can practice Positive Discipline to avoid punitive measures.

Being a good parent means you need to teach your kids the moral in what is right and what is wrong. Setting limits and being consistent are the main keys to good discipline. Be firm and kind when enforcing those rules. Focus on the reason behind your kids’ behavior and make it a change to learn for the future, instead of punishing for the past.

4. Be A Safe Haven For Your Kids

Let your kids know that you will always be there for them by being responsive to the kids’ signals and sensitive to their needs. Support and accept your kids as an individual. Be a safe and warm haven for them to explore from.

Kids raised by parents who are consistently responsive tend to have better social development, emotional development, and mental health outcomes.

The best tips on learning effective parenting skills (part 1)

Parenting is not easy.

Good parenting is hard work.

Good parents don’t need to be perfect.

No one is perfect.

No parent is perfect.

No child is perfect either.

Keep this always in mind when you set your expectations.

However, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t work towards that goal.

Firstly, set high standards for ourselves and then for our children.

Here are some of the best tips on learning effective parenting skills.

1. Be A Good Role Model

Instead of just telling your children what you want them to do, show them by action.

Human is a special species on the planet since we can learn by imitating. We are programmed to copy other’s actions in order to understand them as well as to incorporate them into our own. Particularly, children carefully watch everything their parents do.

Therefore, be the person that you want your children to be. Respect your children, show them a positive attitude and behavior, have empathy towards your children’s emotions, and your children will follow suit.

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2. Love Them And Show Them Your Love Through Action

Show your love. Loving them can’t spoil them​​.

There are many types of what people can choose to do in the name of love – things such as leniency, low expectation, over-protection, and material-indulgence. If these things are given in place of real love, you will have a spoiled child.

Loving your children might be as simple as spending time with them, giving them hugs, and seriously listening to their issues.

Showing these acts of love for your children can trigger the release of feel-good hormones like oxytocin, prolactin, and opioids. These neurochemicals can bring us and your children emotional warmth, a deep sense of calm, and contentment, which can help your children develop resilience, not to mention a closer relationship with you​​.

5 tips to help parents raise a successful child in the future

  1. Teach your children to control their emotions

Many adults, despite their maturity, cannot control negative emotions such as anger, sadness, and disappointment. In children, these feelings are expressed even more clearly. However, parents need to be patient in teaching their children how to deal with these emotions, at least not so much time should be spent thinking about negatives.

Teach your child to calm down by taking a deep breath, then exhale and repeat this several times. It is a way to help children get rid of negative emotions effectively when having unhappy things.

2.Teach your child to be responsible

Parents always have to teach their children about responsibility even the smallest thing. To do so, parents must be an example for their children from the actions and work of daily life.

Children always tend to imitate adults from all actions, bad or good. And to nurture a child’s responsible responsibility routine, the most important thing is that the parents must always be responsible.

3. Teach your children to be grateful

From the smallest things like who cooks what to eat, what help to do, teaches children good things … You should also know how to say thank you and show appreciation. At first, when children are not used to it, they may feel awkward. Therefore, parents should encourage their children to take it as a natural act and become a daily routine.

Want to be like that, first parents should set an example for their children. Always say thank you to the people and helpers in life so that you can look and learn.

4. Discover and encourage proper behavior

Many parents often judge their children’s success through academic achievement or extracurricular skills such as dancing, drawing … However, to help their children become a good and successful child, their moral behavior is also is a very important factor.

Teach your children to behave politely, respect elders, give in to loving babies, and keep promises. In addition to academic achievement, these good qualities will help her a lot in life and she becomes successful, popular people.

5. Spend more time with your children

If your conversation with your child is limited to academic and reasoning results, your relationship with your child is considered a failure. Try to build trust with your child, talk to them as a big friend, play with them and learn about the games they love. And do not forget to say that you love children!

Parenting Is A Journey of Patience

Teaching children is a long journey in which parents are the ones who lead me to new horizons and everything in life. The personality of the child depends heavily on the way of education from parents. Let’s take a look at what parents need to keep in mind during the parenting journey!

1. Don’t give your children when they ask for it, show them what they deserve.

2. Do not give your child when they ask for it, only give it to them when they ask for it.

3. When your child asks, your child will only be given if he or she is worthy.

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4. Parents may refuse children but when denied always tell them why.

5. Regularly say love your child and repeat it over and over, along with the act of love to deepen that love.

6. If your child falls, he or she must stand up if he can.

7. If your child falls on his own, he cries, he hurts, he will stop, absolutely not because of pity but blame things, circumstances or anyone.

8. When your children do well, praise them. That is my motivation to repeat the good deeds again next time.

9. Don’t waste your compliments on things that aren’t worth it. It is possible to encourage your child to DO RIGHT, but don’t praise him too GOOD.

10. Something that is not mine cannot be touched without permission.

11. Making people need to know SHARE. Always remind your child to share good food or toys he or she has.

Patience of parents is a prerequisite to accompany their children. You try to change yourself every day for a more positive way, even though you still make so many mistakes. However, you need to pay attention to maintain a daily routine of positive parenting habits so that your child will succeed and become a good person in the future.

10 Books That Can Help You Understand Your Child Better (part 2)

5. The Whole-Brain Child, by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

Neurosurgeon Daniel Siegel and psychotherapist Tina Payne Bryson explained in his book that there are two different types of brain crises.

“Upper brain crisis” is a crisis process originating in the cerebral cortex. Children use higher brain functions to think and plan when they will get angry in order to get what they want. During an upper brain crisis, children can control their emotions. If they get what they want, they can stop this reaction immediately.

“Lower brain crisis” involves a different part of the brain and requires a different kind of reaction from the upper brain. When the brain region is in crisis, children will become angry, scared, fight or run away. At the same time, the upper brain function is “turned off” and the child cannot control his emotions.

According to Siegel and Bryson, when trying to appease an angry child, it is best to make contact, using a gentle voice to comfort the child to calm down. Then, when the child has calmed down and the cerebral part is active again, you can talk about what happened and analyze for the child to understand.

6. The Kindness Advantage, by Dale Atkins and Amanda Salzhauer

In his book “The Kindness Advantage: Cultivating Compassionate and Connected Children”, clinical psychologist Dale Atkins and social worker Amanda Salzhauer show that kindness is not only about making the world a better place but also having for those who are showing it.

7, The Parents We Mean To Be, by Richard Weissbourd

A different approach to raise children happier, emotionally intelligent and more comprehensive is introduced in this book by a Harvard psychologist.

8. Teaching Kids to Be Good People, by Annie Fox

Educator Annie Fox has included in the book “Teaching Kids to Be Good People: Progressive Parenting for the 21st Century” lessons about raising children who can do good things for the world in the future.

9. Simple Acts, by Natalie Silverstein

In his book, “Simple Acts: The Busy Family’s Guide to Giving Back,” author Natalie Silverstein gives practical advice on raising children who want to help others.

10. The Everything Parent’s Guide to Emotional Intelligence in Children, by Korrel Kanoy

A child’s emotional intelligence has proven to be one of the most important factors in whether the child will succeed later. A child with high emotional intelligence (EQ) has good self-control, resilience and empathy. All of these factors help build the foundation for a more fulfilling and successful life in the future.

Methods to help children learn well of Chinese parents

Chinese parents often help children study or check the progress of learning; or comparing children with other children to promote efforts.

In the PISA rankings of 2018 published by OECD on December 3, Chinese students ranked highest in three areas of Reading, Mathematics and Science. There are many reasons for this outcome, including the method of educating Chinese parents.

1. Children’s mission is learning

Chinese families believe in the specific roles of each member and children are no exception. Children in this country must perform two tasks. One is to respect elders and obey their parents. The other is to study hard and achieve good results to have a bright future.

In the Chinese family, fathers can be pillars, mothers are managers, and teachers of children. The task of students at school is to obey teachers and try to study, at home is obeying parents and reviewing knowledge. They also clean their houses and do extracurricular activities, but most consider learning a top priority.

At home, Chinese parents are often there to help their children study or check their study progress. Many families do not sit next to their parents, but their desks are often arranged so that they can be easily observed.

A special feature of Chinese culture, the profession is highly regarded. Parents show special care and appreciation to educators. They treat teachers like allies in parenting and always remind children to respect.

2. Self-improvement

According to psychologist Jin Li (Brown University, USA), Chinese parenting techniques are rooted in Confucian beliefs about self-improvement. Through non-stop training, people can reach perfection.

Therefore, Chinese students are encouraged to make the most of their time possible. One more lesson is that they can learn more knowledge in many subjects and perfect their skills.

3. Saving compliments

American parents believe that praise is a positive source of energy that encourages children to work and improve self-esteem. They often praise their children as much as in performances, outdoor games or studying. Unlike American parents, Chinese parents often refrain from complimenting their children or giving compliments only when it is really needed.

Chinese parents will praise them when they score A or 9-10. If children get lower scores, parents often encourage their children to do better next time. By doing so, they implicitly let their children understand that parents set high standards for their children and hope they will try to achieve this.

In addition, when praising, they avoid using generic adjectives that pay attention to the child’s accomplishments or efforts. For example, Chinese parents do not comment “You are the smartest person ever”. Because this statement makes children arrogant, think themselves the best and can not stand the feeling of failure. Instead, they will say, “You have achieved an impressive score on this test. The extra time you spend on your studies paid off.”

4. Encouraging competition

Chinese parents think the class is like a competition, many students come in, but only one of them becomes a champion. Therefore, they often compare children with other children to promote learning efforts.

This competition does not imply negative but rather healthy competition, ie children should look at your success to learn. If it fails, children should not keep negative thoughts, instead Chinese parents teach their children to look at their own shortcomings, explain the mistake and avoid repeating it the next time.

5. Never give up

In Chinese thinking, failure is not an option. Chinese parents believe that the worst thing they can do is let their children quit their unfinished work or duties. On the contrary, nothing is better than building your child with confidence, perseverance and efforts to overcome all difficulties.

Once Chinese children have set goals, parents will support or help their children on the path of conquest. From games, sports or learning, perseverance is always strengthened and reinforced with the belief that you can apply it in your future work and achieve success.

6. The result of hard work

According to Chinese parents, joy will not appear if you do not work hard to achieve certain results. So, besides perseverance, Chinese parents remind their children never to be lazy. According to research by the University of California, Asian students in general and China in particular learn more than students on other continents on average 5 hours a week.

Take the example of learning to play the piano. Chinese children will be required to practice hard every day under parental supervision. After a period of non-stop work, parents will register their children to perform in a band or orchestra, from which children will realize the hard work always pays off and makes more effort.

A Valuable Casino Lesson of A Father for His Son

The King of America’s ship declared that his son would give him all his fortune when he was 23 years old. But no one expected, on his 23rd birthday, he took him to the casino.

He thrust into his son’s hands $ 2,000. Immediately afterwards, he taught Harry all the tricks on the table, teaching strangely and coldly. Finally, he told him that no matter what happens, he must not lose all money. Harry nodded yes, but his father was still unsure. He said he had to keep $ 500 after he stepped out of here. Harry tapped his chest confidently, promising that he could do it.

However, when he entered the casino, sat at the table, the young Harry was quickly mesmerized by the magic of the dice, the cards. He frantically set the door like an ephemera, forgetting what his father had told him and his promise before. Before long, Harry lost all his money. He was depressed, dragging his heavy steps out of the casino. He thought that in the last two games, the cards were more beautiful, could regain the original capital. No doubt, the results were worse than that!

Seeing his son face gloomy, he calmly said he had to return to the casino again. However, he will not give you money. You have to make money yourself. It was difficult, Harry found a part-time job. During the hard work month after that, Harry earned 700 dollars. So he stepped into the casino again. This time Harry set himself a rule: Only play half the amount of money in the pocket, then at all costs must leave the table.

But again, Harry failed. When he had lost half the amount, his feet were nailed to the floor, unable to move. And he was unable to uphold his own original rule. In the last game, he bet the rest of the money. Hope flashed through the wool again. He didn’t want to go back to the casino anymore, but his father protested. He told him that life was like a casino, later there were difficulties he was not allowed to give up.

To have money, Harry had to work hard to find more jobs. Half a year later, Harry entered the casino for the third time. This time bad luck still clung to him endlessly, yet another failure. But unlike the previous two, Harry was much calmer. When he lost half of the money, he insisted on getting out of the casino. Although losing half the money but in Harry’s heart a sense of a winner. This time, he defeated himself. This is also a lesson that you can learn when playing on some online casinos.

If you do all 5 of these things, you’re a good parent

Parenting is not an easy job. With a single flaw in parenting, parents can ruin a child’s future.

Here are 5 things good parents often do for their children. Let’s take a look, what did you do here?

  1. Give your child enough free time

Many parents want their children to succeed in the future to the point that they force them to participate in all daily extracurricular activities.

Although learning piano, math, soccer, dancing, etc. can be good for the comprehensive development of children, but cramming so many activities will make them tired and stressed.

Although young, the child is still an independent individual and needs some time for himself. The parents “robbing” too much of their children’s free time will cause them to be overwhelmed, explode emotions and lose control of behavior.

2. No punishment but teach children valuable lessons

Children are like a mirror. They always imitate and learn all behaviors and actions of parents. So, if your child does something wrong, instead of punishing or spanking, parents should use positive parenting methods such as giving them the opportunity to correct the mistake, …

At the same time, parents explain why their children ‘s bad behaviors are unacceptable. Whips only hurt children physically, mentally, and sometimes they don’t know where they went wrong.

3. Create happy memories for your children

Childhood memories play a huge role in helping us become aware of the world and society later. The researchers said, children who have many happy memories as children grow up will be healthier, more satisfied with life.

These children have a positive outlook on things and things, as well as deal with stress better. In addition, they are less likely to suffer from depression and tend to build healthy relationships with people.

4. Parents emphasize effort over results

Sometimes things don’t go according to what we planned. And parents need to teach their children how to accept real life.

You should learn how not to fail when you fail and take it as a challenge to overcome. Failure is not the result of a lack of intelligence, a lack of talent but an opportunity for future development.

In order for your child to think like that, in everyday life, parents should emphasize effort, not the result of what they do.

5. Parents show love to their children

Children who are often shown love and affection by parents are less likely to have behavioral or psychological problems. At the same time, they are also more resilient when encountering difficulties in life.

Regularly showing affection will help bond the relationships between parents and children. You will feel more confident, more protected.

Besides, parents should also teach their children how to show love and care for people around them. This helps me to build relationships in the future.