The best tips on learning effective parenting skills (part 3)

5. Talk With Your Children And Help Their Brains Integrate

Most of us have already known the importance of communication. So talk to your children and also listen to them carefully. Keeping an open line of communication helps you have a better relationship with your children and they will come to you when there is any problem. But there’s another reason for communication: by communicating, you help your children integrate different parts of their brain.

Integration is similar to our body in which various organs need to coordinate and work together in order to maintain a healthy body. Different parts of the brain can function harmoniously as a whole when they are integrated, meaning more cooperative behavior, more empathy, fewer tantrums, and better mental well-being.

In order to do that, talk through troubling experiences. Ask your kid to describe what has happened and how they felt to develop attuned communication​.

You don’t need to provide solutions and you don’t need to have all the answers to be a good parent. Just listening to them and asking clarifying questions will help them make sense of their own experiences and memories.

6. Reflect On Your Own Childhood

Many people want to parent differently from our parents. Even those who had a happy childhood and good upbringing may want to change some ways how they were brought up. But for many times, we speak just like our parents did when we open our mouths.

Reflecting on our own childhood is a step to understand why we parent the way we do. Make note of things you want to change and think of how you will do it differently in a real scenario. Try to be mindful and change your behavior the next time when those issues come up.

If you don’t succeed at first, don’t give up. It takes lots of practice to consciously change one’s child upbringing methods.